moonsofdandelions's guestbook

#11

Dandelion March 19, 2026 at 1:10:07 AM

Looking more into DBT. I think it suits my needs more than CBT. Made myself some communication cards, but will probably end up buying the cute Etsy one types. Also bought the green DBT book. Was looking at a sample of it, so I think it will be helpful.

#10

Dandelion March 17, 2026 at 11:56:28 PM

Spent a whole bunch of money on XM4s, heating pad, diffuser, lavender oil. Looking to buy communication cards next. If I'm gonna spend money, I want to spend it on things that will help me.

#9

Dandelion March 17, 2026 at 8:49:20 PM

What I lost, made myself lose: my job, my school, my boyfriend, my friends, my mentors. Gone -- I just want to get a specific few of them back: my friends, my mentors, my school -- I want a better life now. I want to be a better me.

#8

Dandelion March 17, 2026 at 1:55:33 AM

Sad but unexpected news: it’s been a week, and I still haven’t recovered from TRC. Granted, that was a breakdown that was practically a year in the making. It’s going to take time, but God, does it really hurt. “I’m sad. I’m so sad.”

#7

Dandelion March 16, 2026 at 10:50:37 PM

J——, I hope you miss me, but I know you don’t. I guess I just hope we both move on. I hope my efforts really do make me change.

#6

Dandelion March 16, 2026 at 1:14:23 AM

We broke up. That's the end of that. No more questions. I move on.

#5

Dandelion March 15, 2026 at 2:52:17 PM

My two main concerns right now: myself/my own health and my relationship/its health. He told me to focus on myself and my own stuff, to "get my shit together," but it's hard to devote all of me to myself when there's something (someone) very important to me always on the back of my mind. And it's hard to be selfish when so much of this mess was caused by me being selfish and self-absorbed.

#4

Dandelion March 15, 2026 at 4:28:46 AM

I guess I was always trying to chase the standard of someone else, burning myself out to do so, but never asked what would make me happy, what would keep me sane. I failed many people this year, but most of all, I failed myself. Poor, sweet child of mine.

#3

Dandelion March 14, 2026 at 3:57:55 PM

Honestly, ever since TLC (fall 2025), my grip on reality has never been the same. It's improved a lot, sure, but it's still very easy to just disconnect and dissociate. Reality just slips from my grasp. Certain things no longer feel real, even though I know logically they are.

#2

Dandelion March 13, 2026 at 3:09:35 PM

I knew I would never be as good as everyone, as those I admire — as John, as Ethan and Linder especially, even as Ayden and Jay — but I thought if I tried hard enough, pushed myself hard enough, it would be enough to make up for my lack of ability, my deficiencies. I guess it wasn't, was it?

#1

Dandelion March 13, 2026 at 6:15:10 AM

This is a page where I will put quick updates/feelings/thoughts that are too short to be made into an entry but I still want to release. Technically, it's a guestbook, but I'm not expecting anyone to be reading my website honestly.